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Age of Maturity
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Age of Maturity
I rarely get introspective in life but yeah, after things begin tofit in their proper places and you discover that what you hold dearly all your life is nothing but a puff of wind, and the things you invested on are not really as valuable as you thought they would be. I remember investing on books only to find them very cheap in the second hand bookstores. I invested in gadgets only to discover they are worthless in less than a year. I invested in material things that held zero value at the end. Being matured as I am now, I know better. Age teach people and I guess that’s where I stand nowadays.
In my caseload I meet people of different backgrounds. Most are middle class, every now and then there is an indigent, and occasionally, one that belongs to the upper class. I remember in particular a very special patient, a Harvard educated lawyer, very successful and yet there he was all by himself, relying on an aide who values only the money he pays her and he was very lonely despite multiple marriages and equally successful children and grandchildren.
There are so many lonely people in this world who, despite their relative successes haven’t found true happiness.
Yesterday I met with K who was had a major fight with his girlfriend in front of me. I have warned K longtime ago NOT to invest too much love emotion onher. Time and time again I told him,“you cannot own someone, you can not turn her into a robot that will act and feel the way you expect her to.” I may be jaded and admittedly never been through‘all –out’ love and I may have no right to proclaim I am better than other lovers but my goodness, I have limits if I fall in love. I don’t think the one I love would want me falling apart when it’s over. Idon’t the one I love would be happy if I start monitoring all her moves. That can be creepy, frightening and downward stupid. To love someone to the point of abandoning self-dignity and self-respect or to be so heart sick that I start stalking her, that is pretty much criminal and no matter how much obsessed and in love and romantic you think you are, that is still sick in my book.
Having someone is just as good as letting go especially when love gets so stale and one sided. When one falls out of love, the other should let go and move along.
It’s funny I haven’t really thought much about love until I hanged out with K yesterday. While watching their love fight, ( I was more a referee than a spectator), I couldn’t help but think, “Am I to stay put watching this idiocy or should I go somewhere?”
Really, what’s the point of people’svery personal matters being revealed to me like I were a judge?
That was the time I remembered my Harvard patient who was so lonely in this world. How can people waste their time in petty quarrels and vendettas and agonies and endless argumentation when in the end, what matters is only your own self’s preservation and happiness? Who will remember your fights, your awards, your jokes, your deep emotional love, your investments, your wealth, your intelligence, your good looks, your ability to lead and win when in the end, you are there sitting on a wheelchair taken cared of by an aide who is there because you are paying? Why won’t I invest on what is truly valuable – my peace, my sanity, my health, my spiritual sustenance?
In the middle of their lovers’ fight, I hurriedly left because I wanted to run in the park. I wanted to complete an 11 mile run before I go to sleep.
Rest
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There are many things to consider to make one's work-outs do well for one's body. I have patients who get so consumed by exercise and diet regimen when starting sessions with me that they call in sick the following week. A case in point is Mr X, a giant of a man that stands at 6'4" and weighs maybe close to 400 lbs. He came to me in the outpatient clinic to address his poor walk, poor endurance and general weakness. He comes with the attitude of 'lets do this' followed by 'now!' Somehow I had to taper his enthusiasm because that's when people get injured mostly. Over-enthusiasm is dangerous at times. He came on a wheelchair, his legs stretched out (due to some joint problems in the past) and he is also being managed by Wound Care for his wounds. He is insulin dependent for his diabetes.
Of course my role here is purely therapeutic - using exercise as a treatment. The question is, treatment for what? Having been used to hospital settings all my life, I am more into "let me get you out of bed and prepare you to go home or go to some facility somewhere".
With the outpatient, I am thinking more along the lines of "let me get you fit and healthy to live a functional happy life." Mr X case requires more than simply walking and getting up the stairs, do shower, clean house, do work, etc. This is not a case of back pain where a management of manual therapy and exercise will suffice. This is a case of lose weight, exercise and then things will do well. I talked about diabetes management, weight management, exercise protocols etc. The man comes thirty minutes earlier than scheduled so he could do his 'exercise' early. I let him do simple weights and ROM exercises but I emphasize to him (and to most patients in general) that Physical Therapy is not a profession that builds you up, you need a personal trainer for that. I can help you design a program you can follow on your own but I can not bill you for something like a gym work-out. Going to the gym is much cheaper than coming to an outpatient clinic. What I offer are exercises and other modalities meant to treat your problem and for that, you must have a problem first. Mr X problems does not require a long term PT treatment because it requires a self-managed exercise program, medically managed diabetes, a nutritionist-managed diet, and I am here to facilitate all that. The poor guy decided to exercise a lot, diet a lot, and walk a lot on his own. The result is - he called in sick the following week. This is a case when I need to address the importance of gradual re-building, gradual return to active lifestyle and concomitant to that, the value of rest. It is all good to be enthusiastic but overdoing not only prevents us from going further, it also destroys the gains accomplished. This is a classic example of yo-yo fitness. Someone goes to the gym, promises himself to look good when? Tomorrow! or Next week! What happens is in that particular day or particular week, this person will do all the possible exercises he can muster in the gym, will skip eating (in a form of mistaken dieting)and probably lose sleep due to soreness or excitement. The result? Depleted immune system and via exposure to bad elements surrounding gym machines, a cold. Then this person will say, ah, this is not meant for me. Sometimes I need to tell my patients to chill out. Over-enthusiasm can cause not only cold due to suppressed immune system, it can also cause heart attack, diabetic coma, injury, and stroke.
So chill out. The keyword here is gradual, gradual, gradual. Rest is just as important as the exercise itself.
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